Why Christian Women Need to Stop Over Spiritualizing Dating and Relationships

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The over spiritualization syndrome

Pexels Single Christians try their best to get this dating thing right, but inevitably one Christian camp says it has to be done this way, another says it has to be done that way, and yet another ends up saying that Christians shouldn’t date at all. It can all end up a little confusing and as if finding your perfect mate for life wasn’t hard enough, there are some unhelpful ideas out there can even make the Christian dating process stressful, when it should really be a time of great excitement and enjoyment as you seek to work out God’s will with another human being.

Because we’re so careful to make sure the person we date will be the one we will walk down the aisle with, we can end up putting dating on too high a pedestal. While purity and sexuality should definitely be reserved, there is more than enough room for us to go on group or even safe one-on-one dates to get to know other people of the opposite sex more before deciding to take it to the next level.

My friend, who has recently left a very strict traditionalist church that loves to over-​spiritualize everything, shall not be named for his safety and.

By registering, you agree to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email. I have dated both Christian and Muslim women. I one conclusion I settled on is that it is a little harder to date African religious women because they tend to over-spiritualize everything.

One of my x-girlfriends would quote a verse for everything I said. At first, this was interesting but it soon became too much.

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How do I start? I used to spend hours in Barnes and Nobles as a middle schooler reading teen romance novels, and was most definitely given the book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” once I hit mid highschool. This is from Christian men, might I add.

Sadly, over the last years the church has been all too quick to adopt pagan concepts and your friends, discard Hollywood’s version of dating and romance, re-examine the over-spiritualized input from the Stop over-spiritualizing it.

Before God led me to find a godly husband and return the gift of singleness, I was a Christian single woman over the age of 30 who wanted to be married. Yet, I was doing everything correctly, according to Christian courtship books. I was single, satisfied, and waiting on the Lord. I was content in my singleness and very happy the great majority of the time, with only occasional bouts of loneliness. My source of significance and meaning was found in the Lord.

I loved God and was in the Word. My closest friends were very sanctified Christians, and I was involved in various ministries. My motivation for keeping these rules was to live a God-honoring life , regardless of whether I got married. But the books I read taught that living like this would prepare me for and nearly guarantee a great love story with the future husband God had handpicked for me.

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I’m not familiar with the term inaucurated, or aucurated for that matter, and I don’t see any other wiki references to it. Could someone more knowledgable than me please eludicate on this term? The word “inaucurated” was replaced in this article some time ago.

I guess I would disagree with the term “Over spiritualizing Sex. I believe God made the whole process of courtship and dating to be simple.

The Bridge Chicago. That my value and first love should be Jesus and I should be content with a relationship with Him. And I get all that but I how do I actually do it? How do I actually find my identity in Christ? If you want a relationship because you only define yourself in relation to the person you are dating, then finding identity in Christ is the primary issue in your situation. If you want a relationship because you are a normal person with needs and desires that have been given to you by God, then the main problem here is that the people who are giving you advice really suck at giving advice.

A lot of Christians say things not because they are smart or helpful, but just because they sound super-Christian.

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This blog post and the following comments at Conversion Diary got me thinking recently. Single-and-searching folks ask this question a lot it’s one I sure wondered about! I personally take the perspective that there is no “one” for you. No “soul mate”

Article: The Danger of Over-Spiritualizing the. the baloney that because they are the daughter of a King you must be a prince to date them.

Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. It is a subject most in the church stay away from. It is not often discussed in mixed company and is usually hidden away even though it remains in plain sight.

I used to go every year to a Men’s Convention with my old church and after two years the organizer asked what I thought. I responded that it would be nice if they acknowledged that single Christians exist. Every side session was on how to be a better husband and every breakout group was about how to love your wife as Christ loves the church.

Well intended?

The danger of over spiritualizing

I feel the problem lies not in spiritualizing the dates, but with yourself as a person. I am sure God wants us to involve him in all aspects of our lives, and that is what you are doing, but are you also depending on the instincts, feelings and wisdom that God gave you to make your decisions? One must take risks in this life, and you will never fully live life to the fullest if you overprotect yourself.

The truth of the matter is that it is the ones whom you love the most that will hurt you, but you will only become stronger if you learn to overcome the hurt and continue to love.

We as human beings too easily put things in boxes. We either over-spiritualize every aspect of our lives or separate (perhaps unconsciously) the.

When you submit your name and email you are opting-in for our weekly email newsletter and relevant upcoming updates from Gabrielle Bernstein, Inc. You can unsubscribe at any time. Add to fav. I often witness people over-spiritualize their issues without dealing with them in an honest way. Sometimes we rely on affirmations to feel better without getting to the root cause of our discomfort. Many people are carrying a lot of pain, discomfort and negative experiences.

Many people resent family members, friends, coworkers and people from their past. Tweet: When you honor your feelings and let yourself move through them, you amplify your ability to attract what you want. This is over-spiritualizing. I did this for many years. I understand it. Keep reading for my guidance on how to honor your feelings.

Why is it so hard to date African Religious Women?

God is always enough. He has all the answers. There is no higher calling in life than to know Him, love Him and follow Him. But in serving Him there are plenty of times when prayer and Bible study are not enough.

I one conclusion I settled on is that it is a little harder to date African religious women because they tend to over-spiritualize everything. One of my x-girlfriends​.

Q: How do you deal with people who say that God is speaking to them about the relationship? I believe God does speak to us but can this sometimes be an over spiritualistic way of avoiding making a decision? Whoever submitted it clearly has a wise and perceptive heart. Out of all the excuses we make and then blame on God, I think this one is the absolute worst.

Talk about stabbing someone in the heart. Say what?!?! God told two men to marry the same woman, who then married a third man….

Finding The One

I am well versed in religion, various cultures, and world politics. In Christianity, as well as many other religions, over-spiritualizing is when scriptural interpretation exceeds its original meanings or when an event or action is overcompensated with implications that God, the Holy Spirit, or Jesus had orchestrated it. This mentality can be used in the meekest of situations all the way to the most complicated, and although many things can be justified as spiritual or influenced spiritually, it does not automatically mean that everything is spiritual nor does it mean that God is the puppeteer behind all events and actions on earth.

Dating Done Right helps those who need practical, biblical advice on dating with purpose–stripped of condescension, pat answers, and over-spiritualization.

Darin and Aimee talk about how Christianity has over spiritualized the subject of sex and what the repercussions of that are to the individual heart. We have linked fear with sex and the results are catastrophic. The fear of what possible damage may have been done to our spirits is way more destructive then the actual incident. Click here To download this podcast mp3. Thanks for the sharing this. It has been very healing to me and helps me come to a better place of understanding about one size does not fit all.

Love it!!! I know that you did not mean to bash singles or so.

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